Not Another Gay Wedding-Planner…

How many more times will I have to watch a flamboyantly fabulous gay man plan a wedding for a happy straight couple?  The figure of the gay wedding-planner is virtually everywhere. While I see that the wedding-planner is one of the only representations of a “happy queer,” or at least one who doesn’t die by the end of the film or novel – he is often completely desexualized.  And worse, his primary role is to help  the aesthetically challenged heterosexual couple reproduce the fantasy of marriage as the ultimate culmination of success, happiness and the future.

This annoys me.

I can hear the bells ringing with “you’re fabulous and we accept you as long as your sexuality remains invisible and you maintain the ideology of hetero-reproduction.” – or something along those lines.

This disturbs me.

I wonder how many of these “happy” gay wedding planners have secretly hoped for a wedding of their own. I wonder how many didn’t want to get married at all – but desired to live a long life filled with friends and fuck buddies.  I wonder where these stories are?  I wonder if we care to hear these stories?

I wonder.

“Weddings are like crack to me” says Glee Gay, Kurt Hummel.  I was pleased by the Glee Wedding. If anything it was the gayest wedding for a straight couple ever aired on broadcast television.  The wedding was more about Kurt (and Finn) than about the actual couple getting married.  Kurt is an engineer of intimacies.  For me it’s his most interesting quality.

I indulge in the subtle pleasures of subversion.


1 Comment

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One response to “Not Another Gay Wedding-Planner…

  1. Casey

    I did a paper on “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” and how the gay men on that show functioned as wedding planners do: working within a limited liberal space in the interest of preserving heteronormativity. They are “othered” especially in scenes when they are removed from the scenario they’ve helped create and watch it play out on a closed-circuit TV. Wedding planners are like this as well. As long as gay men work in stereotypes that are comfortable to straight people (drag queens, hairdressers, wedding planners), the status quo basically remains unchallenged.

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